Tuesday, October 20, 2026 Only real news. Only good news. Get it by email →
Hooray!News Free daily email
Proof Positive · No. 5

Forty-Five Centuries

The daily comic from Hooray News, by Frankie Ragan. October 20, 2026.

Four-panel comic in a grocery aisle. Goldie is excited that her chips have 30% less fat. Ansel asks "Than what?" She checks the bag; it doesn’t say. Ansel says he’s 30% more handsome, and Goldie answers "Than what?"
Four-panel comic at the kitchen table. Ansel pours Goldie’s coffee while she reads that a bleached coral recovered by leaning on a healthy one. Ansel notes it fixed its problems by spending time with someone relentlessly positive. Goldie asks "Sound familiar?" and Ansel says "Don’t make this about us."
Four-panel comic in the back yard. Goldie wishes their tortoise, Breaking News, a happy birthday. Ansel says nobody knows his birthday because he came with the house. Neighbor Delphine says he was there when she moved in, in 1994. Ansel realizes they are the tortoise’s pets.
Four-panel comic in a kitchen at morning coffee. Goldie reads from her phone that reading for fun is linked to better brain health, and that a Cambridge editorial says comics count too. Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, perks up and asks whether mortality tables count. In a close-up he beams and says he can't put them down. In the last panel Goldie, deadpan with her mug, points out that everybody dies at the end. Ansel, wide-eyed and pointing enthusiastically, replies, 'Sure. But the order keeps you guessing.'
Four-panel comic in a diner. Goldie reads about what may be the world’s oldest shipwreck. Ansel asks about the ship; only the jars and anchors survived. Ansel says the packaging outlasted the product, and Goldie says only he would review a shipwreck.
Facebook

Inspired by: Shipwreck Off Turkey Has No Ship Left and May Be the World's Oldest

Read the transcript

Goldie: They may have found the world’s oldest shipwreck. About 4,500 years old!
Ansel: And the ship?
Goldie: Long gone. Only the cargo survived: jars and three stone anchors.
Ansel: Forty-five centuries, and the packaging outlasted the product.
Goldie: Only you would review a shipwreck.