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Proof Positive · No. 9

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The daily comic from Hooray News, by Frankie Ragan. October 24, 2026.

Four-panel comic in the back yard. Goldie wishes their tortoise, Breaking News, a happy birthday. Ansel says nobody knows his birthday because he came with the house. Neighbor Delphine says he was there when she moved in, in 1994. Ansel realizes they are the tortoise’s pets.
Four-panel comic in a kitchen at morning coffee. Goldie reads from her phone that reading for fun is linked to better brain health, and that a Cambridge editorial says comics count too. Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, perks up and asks whether mortality tables count. In a close-up he beams and says he can't put them down. In the last panel Goldie, deadpan with her mug, points out that everybody dies at the end. Ansel, wide-eyed and pointing enthusiastically, replies, 'Sure. But the order keeps you guessing.'
Four-panel comic in a diner. Goldie reads about what may be the world’s oldest shipwreck. Ansel asks about the ship; only the jars and anchors survived. Ansel says the packaging outlasted the product, and Goldie says only he would review a shipwreck.
Four-panel comic on the porch at night. Goldie notes their 24th anniversary. Ansel estimates 2,000 thermostat arguments. Goldie asks if he has been keeping count; he says of course, and that she is winning.
Four-panel comic at the kitchen table. Goldie reads that barn owls moved into a Manhattan water tower while Ansel pours her coffee, so absorbed that the mug overflows. He asks about the rent; she says they pay in rats, then hands him a towel without looking up.
Four-panel comic in the back yard. Goldie holds an empty dish: Breaking News got out. Ansel draws a search circle on a notepad map based on the tortoise's top speed. Over the fence, Delphine silently points down. Breaking News is right at Ansel's feet, wearing Ansel's missing slipper.
Four-panel comic on a back porch. Goldie reads that Finland's puppy cam got 6.5 million page views, and Ansel notes Finland has 5.66 million people. Goldie points at their tortoise, Breaking News, and says she put a camera on him. She reports the cam has two views, and Ansel casually asks who the other one is. With a smirk, Goldie says it was him, for three hours yesterday. Ansel raises a finger and insists the motionless tortoise was building up to something.
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Inspired by: Finland Has 5.66 Million People. Its Puppy Cam Got 6.5 Million Page Views

Read the transcript

Panel 1: On the back porch, Goldie reads from her phone while Ansel holds his coffee mug. GOLDIE: Finland's puppy cam got 6.5 million page views. ANSEL: Finland has 5.66 million people. Panel 2: Goldie proudly points down at Breaking News the tortoise in the yard. Ansel side-eyes the tortoise. GOLDIE: So I put a camera on Breaking News. Panel 3: Goldie checks her phone. Ansel stares straight ahead, a little too casually. GOLDIE: Views so far: two. ANSEL: Who's the other one? Panel 4: Goldie gives him a knowing smirk. Ansel raises a finger in earnest defense. GOLDIE: You. Three hours yesterday. ANSEL: He was building up to something.