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Proof Positive · No. 10

Nobody Was Rushing

The daily comic from Hooray News, by Frankie Ragan. October 25, 2026.

Four-panel comic in a kitchen at morning coffee. Goldie reads from her phone that reading for fun is linked to better brain health, and that a Cambridge editorial says comics count too. Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, perks up and asks whether mortality tables count. In a close-up he beams and says he can't put them down. In the last panel Goldie, deadpan with her mug, points out that everybody dies at the end. Ansel, wide-eyed and pointing enthusiastically, replies, 'Sure. But the order keeps you guessing.'
Four-panel comic in a diner. Goldie reads about what may be the world’s oldest shipwreck. Ansel asks about the ship; only the jars and anchors survived. Ansel says the packaging outlasted the product, and Goldie says only he would review a shipwreck.
Four-panel comic on the porch at night. Goldie notes their 24th anniversary. Ansel estimates 2,000 thermostat arguments. Goldie asks if he has been keeping count; he says of course, and that she is winning.
Four-panel comic at the kitchen table. Goldie reads that barn owls moved into a Manhattan water tower while Ansel pours her coffee, so absorbed that the mug overflows. He asks about the rent; she says they pay in rats, then hands him a towel without looking up.
Four-panel comic in the back yard. Goldie holds an empty dish: Breaking News got out. Ansel draws a search circle on a notepad map based on the tortoise's top speed. Over the fence, Delphine silently points down. Breaking News is right at Ansel's feet, wearing Ansel's missing slipper.
Four-panel comic on a back porch. Goldie reads that Finland's puppy cam got 6.5 million page views, and Ansel notes Finland has 5.66 million people. Goldie points at their tortoise, Breaking News, and says she put a camera on him. She reports the cam has two views, and Ansel casually asks who the other one is. With a smirk, Goldie says it was him, for three hours yesterday. Ansel raises a finger and insists the motionless tortoise was building up to something.
A four-panel Proof Positive comic set at the kitchen table during morning coffee. In panel one, Goldie happily reads from her phone that two crows answered a test in 235 milliseconds, and Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, flatly says nobody answers anything that fast. In panel two, Goldie points to the plate and asks if she can have the last muffin; Ansel, wide-eyed and already holding it, instantly says yes. Panel three is a silent close-up of Goldie with narrowed eyes and her chin on her hand. In panel four, Goldie side-eyes him with a smirk and says that was about 235 milliseconds, and Ansel, eyes serenely closed with the muffin in hand, replies that nobody was even rushing him.
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Inspired by: 2 Crows Answered in About a Fifth of a Second, and Nobody Was Even Rushing Them

Read the transcript

Panel 1: Morning coffee at the kitchen table. GOLDIE reads from her phone, delighted. GOLDIE: Two crows answered a test in 235 milliseconds. ANSEL, sipping from his PROVE IT mug, unimpressed: Nobody answers anything in 235 milliseconds. Panel 2: Goldie gestures at the plate holding the last muffin. GOLDIE: Mind if I have the last muffin? Ansel, already holding the muffin, eyes wide: Yes. Panel 3: Silent. Close on Goldie, eyes narrowed, chin on hand, regarding him. Panel 4: Goldie, side-eyeing over her coffee mug, smirking. GOLDIE: That was about 235 milliseconds. Ansel, eyes closed, serenely holding the muffin. ANSEL: And nobody was even rushing me.