Proof Positive · No. 23

Low Maintenance

The daily comic from Hooray News, by Frankie Ragan. November 7, 2026.

Four panels in a kitchen. Goldie and Ansel each hold a coffee mug. Goldie suggests replacing the coffee pot with a newer one. Ansel points out it's twenty years old, nearly twenty-one, and that the coffee isn't good but is the same every morning. Goldie gives him a sideways look and says a new one could be better. Ansel, alarmed, shrugs and says it could also be worse, and then he'd wonder every morning.

Four panels on a back porch. Goldie, in overalls, says her back aches from pinching off dead petunias all afternoon. Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, says dead is his department. Goldie says his department is people, not petunias, and he says dead is dead and he does the odds on it. Goldie says okay, forty more tomorrow, they're his. Ansel raises a finger and says he meant the odds, not the pinching. In the last panel Goldie sips her coffee and says the gloves are on the porch rail, and Ansel, deadpan, asks if there's a form for this.

Four panels on a back porch. Goldie and Ansel stand on either side of Breaking News, their motionless tortoise. Ansel says he ran some numbers and the tortoise will probably outlive them. Goldie, chin in hand, asks if they should put him in the will. Ansel, studying the tortoise with a small smirk, says he's thinking executor, because the tortoise would never rush the paperwork.

Four-panel comic set in a kitchen. Goldie says she's putting her coffee back in the microwave, and Ansel points out it's the seventh time. He notes she hasn't taken a sip. She calmly says she can't drink it now because it has been through too much. Ansel shrugs, smirking, and tells her to hand it over, he'll be gentle.

Four-panel strip in a kitchen. Goldie comes home from the store holding a shopping bag and tells Ansel she ran into the Hendersons and said they should get together sometime. Ansel, holding his mug, repeats 'Sometime' with a flat look. When she says it's just a nice thing to say, he asks when she first said it to them. Goldie shrugs with a small smirk and answers '2009. We're still penciled in,' while Ansel stares at her, wide-eyed.

Four panels of Goldie and Ansel sitting up in bed in pajamas. Goldie asks if the glass of water in her hand is okay to drink and says it has sat there all night. Ansel raises a finger and says the water has been around four billion years. Goldie smirks and tells him to drink it, then. Ansel eyes the glass sideways and says he'll get a fresh one. Goldie, smirking, says it's the same water.

Four panels in a plant nursery greenhouse. Goldie, in overalls and holding a watering can, tells her husband Ansel about an easy plant for a customer: it likes routine, needs little, just steady attention. Ansel, looking pleased, says she's describing him. Goldie gives him a sideways look and says she's describing a peace lily. Ansel shrugs and says he'll take it.

A four-panel comic at the kitchen table on Goldie and Ansel's 24th anniversary, both holding coffee mugs. Goldie smiles and says it's been twenty-four years; Ansel says he reread their vows. She gives him a sideways look and asks if he was looking for loopholes. He says it's a habit but he found one thing: the vows end 'till death' with no extension. Goldie, hand on hip, asks who he would even ask. Ansel calmly answers that he left a message.

Read the transcript

PANEL 1. Greenhouse. Goldie in overalls, holding her watering can, talks to Ansel, who stands with a hand in his pocket. GOLDIE: A lady wants something easy. I know just the one. ANSEL: Okay. Go ahead.
PANEL 2. Goldie, happy, keeps going. Ansel listens, deadpan. GOLDIE: Likes a routine. Same spot, same time every day.
PANEL 3. Goldie continues. Ansel's brows go up and he gets a small pleased smirk. GOLDIE: Doesn't need much. Just steady attention. ANSEL: Hm. You're describing me.
PANEL 4. Goldie gives him a sideways look with a smirk. Ansel shrugs, eyes closed. GOLDIE: I'm describing a peace lily. ANSEL: ...I'll take it.

Start your day with four reasons to smile.