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Proof Positive · No. 18

Not Your Department

The daily comic from Hooray News, by Frankie Ragan. November 2, 2026.

Four-panel Proof Positive strip set in a kitchen. Goldie, squinting at her phone, tells Ansel her phone has a crush on him. He asks what that's based on. In a close-up, she gives him a sideways look and explains that autocorrect turned 'pick up mulch' into 'pick up Ansel.' In his own close-up, Ansel looks smug over his PROVE IT mug and says, 'Smart phone.' In the last panel Goldie smirks and adds that 'manure' also became 'Ansel,' and Ansel, now deadpan, says, 'That's not a crush. It's a review.'
A four-panel Proof Positive strip set before dawn on a Saturday. Goldie, dressed for work in overalls and holding a coffee mug, whispers to Ansel, who is in pajamas with his eyes closed: 'Hon? You up?' She leans in: 'Ansel. You awake?' Eyes still shut, he frowns: 'It's Saturday.' Her whisper grows into huge letters: 'ANSEL. ARE. YOU. AWAKE.' Without opening his eyes he asks, 'Why are you whispering?' In the last panel Ansel finally opens his eyes, heavy-lidded, and Goldie smiles sweetly and whispers, 'Didn't want to wake you.'
Four-panel comic in a living room. Goldie asks Ansel how his review went. He says he meets expectations, the same as every year. Goldie cheerfully says she'd want 'meets' from a bridge, and Ansel mentions that a coworker named Rick got 'exceeds.' Goldie says 'Good for Rick,' and Ansel, deadpan, says, 'They're looking into Rick.'
Four panels in a kitchen. Goldie talks on the phone with her mother while Ansel whispers, 'Tell her I said hi.' Goldie passes it on, listens, and says goodbye. She lowers the phone and tells Ansel her mother says he's a wonderful man. Ansel narrows his eyes and asks, 'Those her words?' In the last panel Goldie shrugs with a smirk and admits, 'She said, "Oh. Him."' Ansel, mug in hand and a small, satisfied smirk on his face, answers, 'Huh. Last Easter it was "Who?"'
Four-panel comic. Goldie, in pajamas with a cold, holds a glass of water and asks whether it's her third glass or fourth. Ansel, in a sweater vest with his PROVE IT mug, says it's the fourth and that she needs five by noon. Goldie narrows her eyes and asks how he knows. Ansel calmly says he wrote it down. Goldie, wide-eyed, asks if he made a spreadsheet for her cold. Ansel smirks and says there's a soup tab and it's going great.
Four panels in a kitchen. Goldie and Ansel each hold a coffee mug. Goldie suggests replacing the coffee pot with a newer one. Ansel points out it's twenty years old, nearly twenty-one, and that the coffee isn't good but is the same every morning. Goldie gives him a sideways look and says a new one could be better. Ansel, alarmed, shrugs and says it could also be worse, and then he'd wonder every morning.
Four panels on a back porch. Goldie, in overalls, says her back aches from pinching off dead petunias all afternoon. Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, says dead is his department. Goldie says his department is people, not petunias, and he says dead is dead and he does the odds on it. Goldie says okay, forty more tomorrow, they're his. Ansel raises a finger and says he meant the odds, not the pinching. In the last panel Goldie sips her coffee and says the gloves are on the porch rail, and Ansel, deadpan, asks if there's a form for this.
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PANEL 1. Back porch. Goldie, in overalls, eyes closed, one hand on her hip, rubs out her tired back. GOLDIE: Pinched off dead petunias all afternoon. My back. Ansel, holding his PROVE IT mug, perks up. ANSEL: Dead? That's my department.
PANEL 2. Goldie gives him a sideways look. GOLDIE: Your department's people. Not petunias. Ansel, smirking, mug in hand, other hand in his pocket. ANSEL: Dead's dead. I do the odds on it.
PANEL 3. Goldie, narrow-eyed and smirking, hand on hip. GOLDIE: Okay. Forty more tomorrow. They're yours. Ansel, wide-eyed, raises a finger. ANSEL: I meant the odds. Not the pinching.
PANEL 4. Goldie, lidded and smirking, sips her mug. GOLDIE: Gloves are on the porch rail. Ansel, flat-faced, glances sideways. ANSEL: Is there a form for this?