Couples Who Exercise Together Say They Argue Better. It’s Hard to Storm Off Mid-Walk

Young married couples who exercise together report communicating better and handling disagreements more peacefully than couples who don’t, according to a study from Brigham Young University.¹ The most common shared workout was not anything fancy. It was walking.¹

That matters because the habit is cheap, simple and available to almost anyone with a sidewalk. The researchers are careful about what it is not: a cure for relationship problems. They describe the effect as small but consistent.¹

What the researchers looked at

The study, published in the journal Family Relations, was led by Jeremy Yorgason, a professor in BYU’s School of Family Life, with co-authors Ashlyn Hiatt Mildenhall and Matthew Núñez. The students started the project as undergraduate researchers.¹

The team analyzed survey data from 1,693 couples in the second round of BYU’s CREATE study (short for Couple Relationships and Transition Experiences), a nationally representative project that has followed newly married couples across the US for more than a decade.¹³ Spouses reported whether they exercised, whether they did it with each other, and what kind of exercise it was.³

Researchers then compared solo exercise and shared exercise against three things: communication, conflict resolution and marital conflict.¹ Communication was measured with questions about listening to a spouse, expressing yourself clearly and understanding a partner’s feelings.³

What they found, and what they didn’t

Both kinds of exercise were linked to healthier marriages. Exercising together consistently showed stronger links.¹

“Our findings suggest that conjoint exercise facilitates, in a small but significant way, the ability to resolve conflict peacefully,” Yorgason said in BYU’s announcement.¹

“Out of all three outcomes, exercise had the biggest impact on communication,” Mildenhall said in the announcement.¹ Couples who exercised together also reported listening better and feeling more heard and supported, which Yorgason says may help explain the link.¹

This is an association, not proof that working out side by side causes better communication. The answers were self-reported, and Yorgason told BYU-Idaho Radio that more research is needed on what actually happens during shared exercise, such as whether couples are talking, joking or solving problems. His team plans to keep studying it.³

According to BYU, about 60% of husbands and wives said they exercised, but only about a third exercised together.¹ Yorgason pointed out that this means about half of the people who exercise are doing it without their spouse.¹

Practical takeaways from the study

• Walking counts. It was the most common form of shared exercise, which suggests no gym membership or gear is required.¹ “It naturally provides opportunities to communicate,” Mildenhall said of walking.¹ It is also hard to stomp off dramatically when you are already headed the same direction.
• Short is fine. “We don’t have tons of extra time in our day, but just going for 15 minutes in the evening or finding a time during the day that you can go together can make a big difference,” Yorgason told BYU-Idaho Radio.³
• Plan for it. For young couples, especially those raising children, shared exercise may take deliberate scheduling.¹
• Keep expectations realistic. The researchers call it one of many healthy habits that create regular chances to connect, not a fix for serious relationship trouble.¹

“While the impact is not necessarily large, it is very consistent, which gives me confidence that it is influencing relationships in some meaningful way,” Yorgason said in BYU’s announcement.¹